THE AMELIA EFFECT
A Styled Goose Chase
To My Little Lady - Birth Story
To my little lady,
You turned two months old the other day, which I still have a hard time believing you are real let alone having you in our lives for two months already. The time is fleeing. And honestly, it breaks my heart. I'm dreading the day that you'll be too grown up and independent for your mama. With how much you've learned and how strong you've become, I feel like that day you won't need me anymore will be tomorrow. I pray tomorrow doesn't come tomorrow.
Baby girl, the day you entered into this world was a blur. I remember waking up on September 11th knowing you'd be in my arms very soon. Your dad started praying you'd hold out until at least September 12th. You're too young now to know about the history of 9/11, but it has been written on the skin of America and I'm sure your 6th-grade history teacher will teach you about what had happened that day 17 years ago. We didn't want your beautiful existence to be associated with such an ugly thing. But sure enough, my water broke shortly after waking up so we headed to the hospital. When we showed up, the nurses were confused about why I was there since I had no signs of pain and I was speaking full sentences. Once they examined me though, I was admitted.
I'm sure you'll see this when you're older (hopefully only glimpses), your mom has extreme anxiety. Within minutes of being admitted to the hospital, I started to have a panic attack. I'm not sure if I was scared of what was to come or if I felt I wasn't ready to be a mom. I just knew I wanted to be perfect for you and I was a long way from that. My moment of panic put you in distress and almost stopped your heart. I've never seen doctors and nurses move so fast. I had no idea what was happening as the swarm of medical personnel rushed around me. One of the nurses grabbed my hand and said, " You have to calm down for your baby. Do this for her. You have to protect her." I think at that moment I became a mom. I am the one to protect you from all evils. Realizing this, I quickly turned things around for you as I had grown my armor. From there we moved to the delivery room and you arrived a short three hours later (and you made it to September 12th.
I don't remember any pain. I only remember your tiny little self resting on my chest as we became in sync. The moment was still and serene. Everyone around us moved in slow motion. You had become my world. Nothing else mattered.
I cannot express how much I love you, but with every day I'm alive I will strive to show you that love. You, little lady, have made me want to be the best I can be in all aspects of life. You have made me a mom. You are my little miracle. And that my girl, is The Amelia Effect.